See, how people write leave Applications. It's murder of the English language. But Too Funny. Just Read It.
The Leave Applications;)
· Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
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· From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."
· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"
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· An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
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· A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
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Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
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Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
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Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Tomato Story
A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
'You are employed' he said.. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.
'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate..
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round.. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Moral of the story
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.
Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
'You are employed' he said.. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.
The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.
'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate..
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round.. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.
The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.
Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Moral of the story
Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.
Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Movies i need to see....as suggested by KR
An officer and gentleman
Men of Honour
Scent of a Woman
Any given Sunday
shall we dance
bone collector
Crimson tide
Enemy of the state
Primal Fear
Notting Hill
jerry Mcguire
The Departed
Bridget Jones
A good year
Horton Hears a Who!
Devil's Advocate-bum says its good This movie completely shook me up. Must watch
Aaa Naluguru (Telugu)
Nice and simple, but profound movie. Watch it with subtitles for people who don't know Telugu
Men of Honour
Scent of a Woman
Any given Sunday
shall we dance
bone collector
Crimson tide
Enemy of the state
Primal Fear
Notting Hill
jerry Mcguire
The Departed
Bridget Jones
A good year
Horton Hears a Who!
Devil's Advocate-bum says its good This movie completely shook me up. Must watch
Aaa Naluguru (Telugu)
Nice and simple, but profound movie. Watch it with subtitles for people who don't know Telugu
Wife
WIVES DEFINED BY DIFFERENT PERSONS
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Anonymous
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Thursday, April 03, 2008
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